Recharging after a long day [via]
Best way to recharge.
Probably the cutest thing ever
guys can we just remember how freaking cute this is
This is the greatest place in the world. Working here is the most delicious security blanket combined with an ice-cream cone.
- Nick Offerman
Today, as I walked into the grocery store, some solicitor was outside trying to get signatures or money. I don’t even know what his cause was, because the first thing he said to me as I got closer was, “You dropped your smile.”
There are very few things in the world that make my blood boil like being told by a strange man to smile. But I was very restrained and ignored him. I went about buying my groceries and forgot about it. Then, as I was leaving the store, he saw me and said, “You going to talk to me this time?”
I stopped. I turned. I said this, with a smile:
"I’m going to give you a tip. All women, everywhere, all of them, hate being told to smile. It implies that we owe you something, or it’s our job to be pleasant or ornamental. We don’t owe you anything, and it’s not our f*cking job to be pleasant or ornamental. If you want to help your cause, stop telling women to smile, because it makes them want to punch you in the face. Which I won’t do."
And then I walked away.
r.i.p to the driver who also died with Paul Walker that no one cares about because he wasn’t famous
So this is cool.
how am i suppose to explain to my child that there are straight people
Make it a scary story.
"They surround us, in fact, they could be just about anyone. They could even be YOU!"
Then you clap your hands together loudly real quick to emphasize it.
You think I’m joking but I take care of two children and have done just this. I hugged them and whispered “Even I could be one.” Then I laughed maniacally.
I make good choices in friendship.
A++ would befriend again.